Today has been a struggle. I tend to wake up with days that I am unable to obtain motivation to get out of bed. The overwhelming existence of daily chores, personal errands, social media, and teaching floods my brain and washes any desire to start the day with gratitude. Why? Because I am spoiled with a roof over my head, my education I worked for as a first generation undergrad, and the fear of failing. My work is to focus on what is good in my life. The small victories waking up in a bed, a stacked pantry, family who loves me, and people who support me.
I laid in bed dreading to start the day. Stared at the ceiling hoping a billion dollars would fall on my face envisioning a photo shoot of rolling around naked in cash. But money doesn’t solve anything. I am very blessed and thankful for the life I live. I tend to forget that and create my own stress. I am able to educate myself on my health, baking skills, and experience new adventures every day. Not everyone has the opportunity to do so. I get to practice yoga at 10 a.m, I get to wake up at 8 a.m. if I want, I get to create my own success doing what I love. These are the little things I recall each day when I start to complain about what I “have” to do rather than what I “get” to do.
It was hard at first. Quitting a job that a college student would kill for right out of school! Great benefits, 401k, uncapped pay. It was great. I wasn’t fulfilled. I wanted to be my own boss, make my own rules, do something I truly loved. I started off teaching yoga as a way to step my foot in the health and wellness business. Something I have always been passionate about ever since I dribbled a basketball in the second grade. I am an athlete and love every second of the sweat, heart-pounding training, competition I face towards each victory. I am competitive and that is what keeps me from failing.
I knew I couldn’t make the money I wanted just by teaching a few classes a week. I had an opportunity to teach a private lesson with a student who came to my classes as her hectic scheduled allow. This is my big break. I regularly worked with her yoga practice, her strength and conditioning, and her diet. I finally found my place and grew my business from here. I felt on top of the world. At one point I had 10 clients on a weekly basis synchronizing schedules, moving lessons around, waking up at 4 a.m just to have a moment for myself before I started my day. I reminded myself everyday I get to be apart of a transformation in someone’s life by creating customized plans including diet and fitness. It was hard and time consuming, but I was doing what I loved. This sounds amazing but in the service industry people cancel, want different times, want different days and I had little wiggle room to please everyone. I love my client’s but it was time to put an end to this chaos. How could I transition into something else where I control the time?
I wrote a recipe book for my friend’s and family, it was definitely unedited but so much fun to make. I love being in the kitchen and I get the opportunity to share creations and my love for healthy cooking and decadent desserts. Eureka! I started on my next project while still fueling my livelihood teaching yoga, just without as many people. A recipe book soon to be completed with my all-time favorites that comes straight from the heart.
As I rolled out of bed I first think of everything I worked for to get to this point in my life. I am so grateful for the opportunities and choice I have made, some I am not so proud of, however, has given me a chance to showcase what I get to share with my community, country, and universe. Yoga, recipes, and inner gratitude for the small things that brings me daily joys. Like today, the day I look up wondering where I went wrong? I didn’t. I went everywhere right. Even on the worse days, my jobs (the things I absolutely wouldn’t trade for the world) are still the most fun.