I am no advocate for living a full organic life. I love cooking healthy but indulging in naughty desserts. Of course, substitutions can always improve the overall nutrition but sometimes I just crave the extra goodness.
I use this weekly diary to let my friends (yes, you….) to get to know me more in depth. On a personally level because I promise I am just like you!
This week I am focusing on eating a bit cleaner (hints the photo) and increasing my cardio. It is so hard! I am exhausted thinking about spin class before I even get there. I use to be the hard core gym rat, half marathoner, home video junkie. I absolutely enjoyed the detox. It starts back in high school. Putting it all out there I topped my weight at 176 pounds my senior year. I will never forget the moment on the scale right before volleyball season and that number popped up. Holy-freakin’-moly! I will say I did have a lot of muscle because I was an athlete and weight trained. Definitely could have stood to loose a few LB’s. And I did, but in an unhealthy way. I went through my first break up and was heartbroken for a very long time. I dropped down to 127 pounds. My all time low and extremely unhealthy for my height at 5’7” (5’8” on a good day). As time rolled by I went country dancing a lot. It was a new discovery to me at the age of 21. After a night out we all hit up Whataburger, Taco Bell, or Jack-in-the box. I knew it was a fun night when I had left over cheese on my steering wheel the next day. What? my metabolism sped up so I got the extra cheese, ok?! This was routine for the next few years through college.
Once I graduated I learned quickly how fast that extra cheese hugged onto my body, heart, and muscles. I did not have the time to work out like I use to once I stepped into my corporate job. At the age of 25 is when everything changed. Even though I was a healthy-ish weight at 132 pounds, I didn’t feel as good no thanks to my hamburger and taco nights. I felt slow, like I had bricks on my feet, my back, my shoulder. I felt heavy and lost that sense of lightness and ease I regain through half-marathons and brutal ab workouts on TRX bands at the gym. I started to become a cardio bunny once again and then I found yoga. Game changer! Historically, as an athlete I knew what it meant to train. Yoga is by far the hardest, most challenging “workout” I have ever done. Over any half-marathon, any cardio class, boot camp, you name it. Sooooooo I picked up yoga. This was exactly what I needed to get me back on track. Everyone there was healthy or moving into this deep sense of self. I started to eat a little bit healthier (hot yoga will make you want to eat better, go take a class and you will understand why), became more active, and picked up healthy cooking overall. I began to maintain my weight at a very healthy, this time, 132 as I was building muscles and burning fat with a healthy lifestyle.
Fast forward to now, 28 years old. This past March my world came crashing down. I didn’t sleep, I barely ate, and I was over working my body trying to distract myself from the outside world. I lost all sense of self identity and gained 10 pounds trying to keep myself awake with sugar and coffee. This went on for 6 months. I put everything on the back burner until now. I recently took a look in the mirror at myself. A long hard look in depth at my body up and down for about 5 minutes. The longest 5 minutes ever. I saw a whole different person. Someone who was unhappy, unhealthy, and depressed. I stood there and made a decision. I can allowed outside forces to take control or I can do it myself. I have been from one extreme to other with my health and its time regain self control and confidence. No joke, trying to loose weight now is not like it was at 23-24 years old where I could skip a meal and lose 2 pounds. I now gain that 2 pounds just by looking at brownies. I learn more each day about nutrition and accepting my body is a precious machine that requires the most attention and nourishing nutrition. I started to spin, run, and weight train. MY. BODY. HURTS. In a good way of course!
I learned how healthy living is a lifestyle change, not a phase. It is important for the time being that I track what I eat to successfully maintain my health. It is not about how I look anymore, it is about what I put into my body and how I feel. My first step was accepting myself. Second, find foods that I liked and easy to cook. Nobody has time for a 2 hour cooking marathon. Lastly sticking to making myself a priority. Call me selfish, but it is true and have proved that to myself over the course of this year. And the reason I finally launched my blog and social media.
Life happens, but when it does acknowledge what you do can do to regain control. Healthy habits and nutrition helps rewire brain activity and improving over health. That is no secret. I share my short journey of my health and the process I am currently going through to maintain my sanity, lifestyle, and most importantly myself as a priority. Each day we learn something new and what I put into my body is what I get out of it physically and mentally. Mom, you were so right…the older we get the more our bodies change. Trust the process of healthy habits and remain true to yourself.
I still have chocolate cake for breakfast and dessert 3 times a week 😉